Growing Up

It's fascinating how when I'm laying down trying to sleep all these thoughts passes through my mind.... but when I sit here and decide to write... i get a brain fart. lol  

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As a kid, I couldn't say I was a perfect child.. I was far from it. I always push the limits and my mom's buttons. I was a good girl when my dad was around tho.. other than that.. I guess I've always been the rebellious type. I wasn't like a bad kid either.. I just like to stay out a little longer than I'm suppose to. Be at the neighbors when I was suppose to be home. Maybeeee not listen at times... and perhaps a bit of a picky  eater. hehe... 

Growing up the way I did.. I can't say I had a normal childhood.. or what not... But looking back at it now, although a lot of it was tough and hard to deal with.. I wouldn't change anything. 

I have come to learn a lot of life lessons.. one being that EVERYTHING DEFINITELY HAPPENS FOR A REASON. May it be good or bad, it happens because we have to go through it to learn a lesson with/about life. Not saying that everybody learns the lessons tho. It really depends on how you choose to take and see the situation/outcomes.

Looking back, there had been a lot of times where I felt like everything was just crashing down.. and i was at the bottom of the ground... and I'm just so glad and proud to be sitting here today writing this blog... because I have overcome all those obstacles, and I sit here today knowing that I'm a much stronger, and better person than ever. Still not perfect, but it's all good :)

I still have flaws, and imperfections... but now I know It doesn't matter what comes my way, I will be able to get through it! I'm also able to help other people go through their problems. I love how I have the ability to look at things in a different perspective. It doesn't matter if I am the one that's angry, It takes a little bit, but i can step back and just see things in somewhat a brighter light... if not in a brighter light.

I'm able to deal with situations I've dealt with since I was younger.. A LOT BETTER! I use to always just want to stand up for myself when i'm being pushed down.. But now I've learned when to do that and when to just step back and brush it off.  I'm a lot more understanding and sympathetic. 

Also, I have learned who to care for. I use to be the girl who just cares for whoever is around me. Someone that wanted to make everyone happy. A pushover as someone called me. 

Now, I'm definitely NOT going to waste my time on anyone who isn't genuine. I will not be a bitch. That's not my thing, but I just know deep inside that I don't have to care for that person. That they are not worth it. I wouldn't be going out of my way in the middle of the night if they called me, and needed a ride or something in the morning... or what not. I have learned to pick and choose who to be truly kind to. 

I will only treat you better than you treat me. Use me, and I will be just be invisible to you. 

Sounds fair right? Be true to me and i will be here when you need me. No matter what time of the day it is... I'll find a way to help you. 

Speaking of being there.. I use to be the girl that's there all the time may it be a dinner, party, etc, or just to talk. Now, i'm not that girl who will be there at every party or social event. I am the girl who will be there when you need someone the most. I am the girl who enjoys a more intimate time with friends.. Not in a party environment. I am someone that's a phone call/text away. To be honest, i know i probably suck at texting or calling... but I try.. I do promise tho, if those people who matters to me calls/text me and I know they need me... I will be there for them any way I can. 

Now, that I'm 24.. I'm not so much interested in a lot of things that I was very in to before. Right now, I just want to make $$ and get my own place, enjoy all the other things that life has to offer. Like travelling! I would love to travel the world. Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not like how I was before. I'm not umm a socialite. haha... I feel a little bit more introverted.. 

Maybe it is true.. but I can't really say anything about it... I want to say i'm sorry.. but deep inside.. I'm not. I guess my desire in life just changed, which is totally acceptable right?? 

Although....sometimes I feel like I need to grow up more.... It's probably my little impatient personality acting up.. But at times I feel like I should be further along than where I am now. Maybeee if I didn't party.. haha just kidding.. Like I said I wouldn't change anything.  

Anyway, I guess that's enough jibber jabber for now.. till next time!

xoxo

-MarjonelleM-